Resources for Grieving Children
When children experience loss they express their feelings about it differently than adults. Those feelings can come after a death, a move, the loss of a pet or a divorce. Any change in the child’s life may bring with it signs of mourning.
Though some children will discuss their feelings in words it is also common to see emotional and physical illustrations of their feelings. Each child’s grief is unique and their expression will also be unique.
Behaviors:
Verbal Behaviors:
- Talking about the deceased a great deal
- Not wanting to talk at all about the deceased
- Asking a lot of questions
- Not asking any questions
- Wanting to hear about the loss over and over
- Not wanting to hear anything about the loss
- Engaging attention by talking a lot
- Saying silly things
- Mentioning dreams about the person who died
- Talking about having “seen” or “felt” the person who died
- Voicing numerous fears
- Voicing worries about safety and other people getting sick or dying
Emotional Behaviors:
- Lots of tears
- Crying at unexpected times
- Having strong feelings about seemingly small things
- Overreacting to situations
- Having difficulty focusing
- Not complying with adults
- Being clingy and needing to be with an adult
- Exhibiting signs of anger at everyone and everything
- Forgetfulness
- Irritability
Physical Behaviors:
- Eating a lot
- Not wanting to eat
- Sleeping a lot
- Not sleeping
- Urine or bowel accidents
- Pains in the stomach and or other areas, not explained by a doctor
- Non-serious, recurrent illness such as colds, sore throats, and headaches
- Regressive behaviors- wanting dolls, bottles, blankets they haven’t used recently
- Aggressive behaviors such as hitting, pinching
- Needing to touch others often
- Weariness and fatigue, even with enough sleep
- Wanting to rip and destroy things
Some Behaviors of Concern:
- Dangerous risk taking
- Self destructive behaviors
- Threatening to hurt self or others
- Violent play
- Total withdrawal from people and environment
- A dramatic change in personality or functioning over a long period of time
Resources:
The Caring Place is a local non-profit with locations across Pittsburgh that serves grieving children and their families.
https://www.highmarkcaringplace.com/cp2/index.shtml
Books for Grieving Families:
A Parents Guide to Raising Grieving Children by Phyllis R. Silverman and Madelyn Kelly
Grief in Children: A Handbook for Adults by Atle Dyregrov
ABCs of Healthy Grieving by Harold Ivan Smith
When There Are No Words: Finding Your Way to Cope With Loss and Grief by Charlie Walton
Angel Catcher: A Journal of Loss and Remembrance by Kathy Eldon and Amy Eldon Turtletaub
Books for Grieving Children:
Saying Goodbye to Lulu by Corinne Demas
The Fall of Freddie the Leaf by Leo F. Buscaglia
Help Me Say Goodbye: Activities for Helping Kids Cope When a Special Person Dies by Janis Silverman
The Brightest Star by Kathleen Maresh Hemery
Sunflowers and Rainbows for Tia by Alesia Alexander Greene
Gentle Willow: A Story for Children About Dying by Joyce C. Mills
Where Are You? A Child’s Book About Loss by Laura Olivieri
I Miss You: A First Look at Death by Pat Thomas and Leslie Harker
Big Cat, Little Cat by Elisha Cooper
French Toast Sundays by Gloria Spielman
The Funeral by Matt James
Grandma’s Gloves by Cecil Catelluci
The Heart and the Bottle by Oliver Jeffers
Holes In the Sky by Patricia Polacco
I Have a Question About Death: A Book for Children with Autism Spectrum Disorder and Other Special Needs by Arlen Grad Gaines
Ida Always by Caron Levis
Is Daddy Coming Back in a Minute?: Explaining (Sudden) Death in Words Very Young Children Can Understand by Elke Barber
Missing Mommy by Rebecca Cobb
The Purple Balloon by Christopher Rascheka
Remembering Crystal by Sebastian Loth
Sammy in the Sky by Barbara Walsh
The Scar by Charlotte Moundlic
Sweet, Sweet Memory by Jacqueline Woodson
Up In Heaven by Emma Chichester Clark
What Happens When a Loved One Dies? Our First Talk About Death by Jillian Roberts
Where Do They Go? by Julia Alvarez